Christmas time

Christmas Eve - we did something a bit different and went with Tom's mum to a carol service. It was held at a church in her village which is shared by the Catholics and Anglicans. The service itself was meant to be about 30 mins before leading into mass (which we weren't attending) but it was a very strange experience for me. Tom's mum is Catholic and Tom was raised as one (though he is an atheist) so they were more used to the customs which were completely alien to me. People kneeled to the alter before sitting down; the songs were all old-fashioned and some had Latin in them; there were icons of Jesus everywhere. No incense though. I am determined to get back into a church group soon but I am quite sure I won't become Catholic! I just felt they place such a huge emphasis on the extra elements of religion rather than the core message of Jesus.

Well we had a great Christmas day just us two; cooked roast pork and watched DVDs of Lee Evans and Queen documentary. One of my presents to Tom was a wooden mead flagon and he drank out of nothing but that all day! It's now stained a bit pink from the cider, but at least he's getting use out of it. Tom's main gift to me was a membership to the RSPB so now we can go bird watching around the country (trips and transport willing of course) but I was so touched I cried a little! We also popped to Chloe's for a couple of hours in the evening which was peaceful.

I was back at work over the bank holiday but now enjoying a couple of days off before back to work again. At least I get NYD off and we're going to the races (we only live 10 mins walk so be rude not to!)

I'm hoping and praying things will be improving in the new year for us. It feels like this year has been a real struggle, for things perhaps of our own making and many things we couldn't control, so I really want things to settle down and get better soon. The idea of running away and living in a remote commune grows ever-tempting though it seems a bit impractical. 

Health and Holidays

I'm getting some blood tests next week to determine whether I have anything in addition to possible (and quite likely) IBS. After all the stress of this year it seems my health has taken a bit of a battering and has manifested itself in the form of making me feel sick and sore. As a result I've been losing weight on and off (I don't know the figures as I don't actually own a set of scales) but I'm hoping with some treatment from a doctor I will see an improvement.

Anyway, as the date shows we are very close to Christmas. I'm actually getting a little excited! I am a Scrooge but only because I get sick of all the commercialism that surrounds the weeks/ months leading up to the day itself. We put our tree up on Monday and it's nice to have it brightening the room up, and this evening it's got a variety of gifts from my family underneath. I am just looking forward to spending the day with Tom, having a meal and sharing a few presents.

Let's hope Jesus' birthday celebrations go well this year; it's nice when people get together and have a wonderful time.

If I don't comment on here before, merry Christmas to everyone!

Guitar

Yet MORE bad news today - Tom unfortunately wasn't successful for a job he'd been interviewed for, so now he's back to job hunting again.

Times are hard. I know they could be harder, and we need to count our blessings, but not knowing how we shall get by in the next few weeks is pretty scary.

Things may be changing at my work soon but I'll have to see over the next few weeks if anything will happen.

A strange symbol of these situations is still lurking away in my life: my guitar.

No, I don't play it. I had a teenage dream of becoming a rock star, and when it turned out practicing and playing was something that didn't come naturally I typically gave up. I know I won't take it up again (I don't think my fingers are flexible enough either!) but I still have the guitar my dad bought for me. Over the past few years it's been something that I've had to consider selling on several occasions when money has been tight.

Yet it is still here, still in the corner somewhere gathering dust. I've not yet got to the stage where I've actually had to put together a transaction for it. Perhaps this is a symbol of some security and reassurance of getting me through things.

This time of year again

I am a bit of a Scrooge, I won't lie. It's a bit weird trying to explain to people how that as a Christian I don't like the celebration, but it's the commercialism I despise.

Christmas is on Dec 25th, not October or November. I refuse to follow the trend of having to spend a load of money on crap that you wouldn't dream of buying any other time of the year. Retailers rack in a huge profit (or not?) and then people queue up to get everything they didn't receive in the Boxing Day sales.

If you mention things like Jesus or going to Church on Christmas Day people seem to lose interest. Many people seem to have completely detached the Christian celebration from the orgy of food and gifts.

I also want to suck out more of the fun by pointing out that a lot of the rituals surrounding Christmas (including the time of year) were pagan in origin! I know that when the Christians came over they basically told the native pagans that they were taking their New Year/ Yule (I forget which though no doubt someone out there may correct me) and turning it into the birthday of their saviour.

Whilst the topic of 'invasion'/ missionaries etc. can be left for another day, my point still stands that Christmas has been ruined by the commercial and consumerist nature of the modern world in this country.

This year I shall be spending the day with Tom at home, eating food and playing games and trying to enjoy the day itself rather than have planned meticulously for weeks in advance and spend money I really don't have!