In my little life I have gone through a few big changes in circumstances over the years. The obvious ones are moving through school to sixth form, to uni, to graduating. In this I've been in different places and, in the case of university, lived in a different town altogether.
What of the things we leave behind? [sidenote - I have really learned that your family are for life, what a miracle!]
My big regret is that during the early part of uni I did not take greater care to keep in touch with people back home. At the beginning I was a dreadful bore everytime I went back; I was all about uni and my life there. It was mostly the same for everyone who had gone the same direction (what a fascinating bunch new students must be) so trying to keep up with a place you aren't constantly being saturated in can be a struggle. I'm not excusing it but my halls of residence didn't have internet for 9 out of the 10 months, so social networks, blogs, etc were used less.
However that annoying phase of "centre of the universe-ity" did end and I tried to get back in touch with some of the friends from back home. Of course people don't tend to pause their lives waiting for you so things had changed and a few were in different places and, perhaps, not as contactable. I'd like to think any messages of mine that I never reciprocated were the result of a lapse of concentration, changing phone numbers, etc, not being shoved at the back of a mental friend-priority pile where I'd worn myself to the edge of their radar.
With the internet you can see when someone has been in touch, for example a Facebook wall post. If you can see it, then it's there, and so can everyone else. With that ease, why not bother to reply? Especially when the rest of your activities are available to see so you can't use the excuse of missing the message or not being online recently.
Now I am seeing some of the individuals who were arguably quite close to me before I left have another life. I have not been there to see all of their changes, to know what has been going on and to develop our relationships. I do have friends here, some great friends, but seeing as a lot were from uni and themselves have moved on with their lives too, it would be nice to think that I can again have some passionate, close, loving friends like I used to.
I sound ungrateful - I'm not. Individuals are individuals, but I guess I miss having the access to a group with a connection in the way I felt it as a teenager. What is missing from the present, I'm not sure. Likewise, maybe I just need to try a bit harder with the people around me now so I don't end up missing them in the same way.
And also I'm sure I'll have many new friends to meet in the future. I hope.
Saturday, 20 August 2011
Wednesday, 17 August 2011
Just for Mel (and anyone else...)
Thought I'd show you a pic of my monsters:
Tiny Douglas!
Currently the little dude is asleep in his tank under a bit of wood, and the big one is wedged in between me and the end of the sofa also asleep. Aww, content babies...!
/annoying motherly-reptile post.
This is Rusty along one of my arms, how is that not cute?!
Ok, how about this:
Currently the little dude is asleep in his tank under a bit of wood, and the big one is wedged in between me and the end of the sofa also asleep. Aww, content babies...!
/annoying motherly-reptile post.
Sunday, 14 August 2011
What can you live with?
What can you put up with not being perfect in your life? And what must you have been as good as it possibly can? Where will you make the sacrifice? I'd been thinking about this recently and ended up discussing it with a college at work today.
For example: you might be able to put up with a mediocre job, but only be happy if you live in a house instead of a flat.
Another: you might not mind dating and being single (against being in a relationship) but spend as much free time and energy on a particular hobby, like a sport.
The reason I am thinking this is because I'm evaluating what I prioritise over what in life. I have lived in absolute dumps (sorry uni house!) and I am not a neat person. My flat is where I live but I'm not very materialistic. The place is untidy and has no room for ornaments or decoration. Everything here is functional or usable; furniture, books, computer, all the kitchen stuff, lizard tanks. I can deal with not having a perfect home - it doesn't bother me too much.
However there will be other areas where I will be picky and demanding. Maybe not outwardly so, but I have a growing awareness of things I want to change, even if they are not permanent, for the slightly better. As there are those who will go giddy over colour schemes, picture frames, furnishings etc, and will also spend a huge amount of time and effort maintaining them, I can let that slide. But I will be more easily bothered by other parts of my everyday life which I shall work to change.
For example: you might be able to put up with a mediocre job, but only be happy if you live in a house instead of a flat.
Another: you might not mind dating and being single (against being in a relationship) but spend as much free time and energy on a particular hobby, like a sport.
I've also learned how to add pictures! Go me!
The reason I am thinking this is because I'm evaluating what I prioritise over what in life. I have lived in absolute dumps (sorry uni house!) and I am not a neat person. My flat is where I live but I'm not very materialistic. The place is untidy and has no room for ornaments or decoration. Everything here is functional or usable; furniture, books, computer, all the kitchen stuff, lizard tanks. I can deal with not having a perfect home - it doesn't bother me too much.
However there will be other areas where I will be picky and demanding. Maybe not outwardly so, but I have a growing awareness of things I want to change, even if they are not permanent, for the slightly better. As there are those who will go giddy over colour schemes, picture frames, furnishings etc, and will also spend a huge amount of time and effort maintaining them, I can let that slide. But I will be more easily bothered by other parts of my everyday life which I shall work to change.
An example of a home by someone who actually has time for it...
Not being too materialistic is a good thing in my opinion. If something breaks, it's broken. It might be annoying but it's not really the end of the world. The things I treasure the most are living things, memories and experiences; things you can't really buy or knock over. Sofas are for sitting on, tables for putting things down on, candles for lighting. Nuts to materialism.
Mind you, I lost my DVD of A Clockwork Orange a while ago and it annoys me slightly that I may eventually have to buy a replacement.
Friday, 5 August 2011
Ugghh...
Today I feel dreadful. I'm not unused to feeling a little rough once in a while, even though that doesn't cushion the blow at all. But today I am having to face up to a decision to speak to a doctor about letting me take medicine every day to try and help with a few days of horror.
I've resisted this for the past year or so in the hope that 1) things might start to get better without the aid of too many interfering drugs, and 2) trying to justify taking meds every day for a problem that ruins 2 days out of 30.
However I'm getting sick of ignoring it. I will have to deal with any consequences sensibly and make use of the medical help I can get in this country. To anyone who is ill or in any kind of discomfort, I have sympathy! So much sympathy. As personal comfort and health is such a relative thing, it can be easy for people to lack any kind of empathy if how they are effected by things is not the same as yourself; you're "making a big deal" to them. How unfair.
Anyway, I've finally got myself comfortable on the sofa (thank God I'm not back at work until Monday) and am reluctant to move too much as it took me about an hour and lots of tablets to get here! At least I don't have to do anything too strenuous for the next few days.
But I do want to make a cake later.
I've resisted this for the past year or so in the hope that 1) things might start to get better without the aid of too many interfering drugs, and 2) trying to justify taking meds every day for a problem that ruins 2 days out of 30.
However I'm getting sick of ignoring it. I will have to deal with any consequences sensibly and make use of the medical help I can get in this country. To anyone who is ill or in any kind of discomfort, I have sympathy! So much sympathy. As personal comfort and health is such a relative thing, it can be easy for people to lack any kind of empathy if how they are effected by things is not the same as yourself; you're "making a big deal" to them. How unfair.
Anyway, I've finally got myself comfortable on the sofa (thank God I'm not back at work until Monday) and am reluctant to move too much as it took me about an hour and lots of tablets to get here! At least I don't have to do anything too strenuous for the next few days.
But I do want to make a cake later.
Thursday, 4 August 2011
Goodbye to geckos
Yesterday I took our leopard geckos Sonny and Luna to a reptile shop in Gloucester. It was a hard decision but we'd eventually decided we wanted to get them a new home.
They aren't exactly the hardest pets in the world, but because they are quite basic in terms of intelligence and instinct they will never love attention and interacting like, for example, a dog or cat does. We'd 'tamed' them to tolerate being handled as much as we could so they would allow us to touch them without biting us (most of the time!) but it still stressed them slightly.
Also, as we'd accidentally put a male and female together they have become a breeding pair and now Sonny lays eggs every few weeks. We simply don't have the equipment or space to be able to incubate and hatch any eggs, then there's the hassle of selling the babies (who naturally have foul tempers and get stressed easily).
So we made the hard decision to see if someone would take them off our hands and offer them a better life. We certainly weren't neglecting them or anything horrible, we just think a more experienced breeder might be able to make better use of them, and they could add another female to the group and use Luna's albino colouring for mating and mixing certain colours and patterns.
As I mentioned, they aren't too intelligent or emotional (even as mates they still have no regard for the other and will literally walk all over them) so I don't think they are missing us, just getting used to a new location for the time being. The shop looked fantastic and they will keep them together and hatch some of their babies, so we're happy we've done the right thing.
Let this be a lesson to really think about the consequences before obtaining life of any kind.
On a happier note, we still have Rusty the bearded dragon and Douglas the uromastyx at home. At this present moment Rusty is wondering about the living room floor exploring/ looking for trouble. He seems quite content, which is all that matters when it comes to these little guys.
They aren't exactly the hardest pets in the world, but because they are quite basic in terms of intelligence and instinct they will never love attention and interacting like, for example, a dog or cat does. We'd 'tamed' them to tolerate being handled as much as we could so they would allow us to touch them without biting us (most of the time!) but it still stressed them slightly.
Also, as we'd accidentally put a male and female together they have become a breeding pair and now Sonny lays eggs every few weeks. We simply don't have the equipment or space to be able to incubate and hatch any eggs, then there's the hassle of selling the babies (who naturally have foul tempers and get stressed easily).
So we made the hard decision to see if someone would take them off our hands and offer them a better life. We certainly weren't neglecting them or anything horrible, we just think a more experienced breeder might be able to make better use of them, and they could add another female to the group and use Luna's albino colouring for mating and mixing certain colours and patterns.
As I mentioned, they aren't too intelligent or emotional (even as mates they still have no regard for the other and will literally walk all over them) so I don't think they are missing us, just getting used to a new location for the time being. The shop looked fantastic and they will keep them together and hatch some of their babies, so we're happy we've done the right thing.
Let this be a lesson to really think about the consequences before obtaining life of any kind.
On a happier note, we still have Rusty the bearded dragon and Douglas the uromastyx at home. At this present moment Rusty is wondering about the living room floor exploring/ looking for trouble. He seems quite content, which is all that matters when it comes to these little guys.
Monday, 1 August 2011
Busy recently!
Just a quick update; Last weekend Tom's dad got married so we went up to Blackpool for the ceremony and it was a lovely day! Spent a few days up there with Tom's family, then for the rest of the week we returned to Oxford to see my family and spend some time down there. I forget how much I hate Oxford City.
Thursday, 23 June 2011
A Greater Reliance on Technology?
I'm not too techy. There's a problem with that in our society with there being huge gaps in the general public's abilities and knowledge with all things electronic and 'technology'. THESE ARE GENERALISATIONS!
For example, those who just do not have any involvement with computers (eg the older generation who never needed to) and so just kind of shun the whole thing quite happily.
Then there's those who use everything, like all kinds of gadgets and, well, buzzy-stuff. Generally seem to be the younger generations of society, and male. All my young male friends have things like iPhones, iPods, want iPads and other i-esque things to improve their lives. They're the ones who know about programming and downloading and how to set up computers and run them properly, to add stuff and change bits, know what things like graphics cards and USB drives and enjoy games consols. The guys I call whenever the laptop won't connect to the internet despite me merely turning the damn thing on for the 1000th time and this being a new issue.
Helpful as these people are, they tend to become obsessed with these kinds of things and it gets really boring being the one who isn't involved in all the same stuff and has no idea about it all.
Then there is myself. Can use a computer. Knows a few websites worth looking at (mainly the hilarious ICanHAsCheezburger.com, the interesting Cracked.com, and the thoughtful OliviasAdulthood.blogspot.com) cannot fathom why printers have to make life so difficult, knows how to call, text, and take pictures using my mobile phone but not much else. Yet everything seems to be more technical and it's annoying. I want a 'crap phone', as said by one comedian; I don't need internet stuff or touchscreen stuff and so on. There are so many wires and cables dotted about the flat from TV stuff, computer stuff, Xbox stuff, phone stuff etc.
I just think we're getting too reliant on all this electronic amusement which is so damn fast, that as soon as we know it we're bored again. I spent a few hours each day on the laptop. Doing what? Mainly procrastinating. The time it takes me to look at all I want and enjoy it is probably only about 1 hour, yet I spend longer on it. I have access to the answers to any question but so little useful information is out there. But it's convenient. It's fast. I don't need to buy a newspaper because I can look online.
There has to be a balance.
For example, those who just do not have any involvement with computers (eg the older generation who never needed to) and so just kind of shun the whole thing quite happily.
Then there's those who use everything, like all kinds of gadgets and, well, buzzy-stuff. Generally seem to be the younger generations of society, and male. All my young male friends have things like iPhones, iPods, want iPads and other i-esque things to improve their lives. They're the ones who know about programming and downloading and how to set up computers and run them properly, to add stuff and change bits, know what things like graphics cards and USB drives and enjoy games consols. The guys I call whenever the laptop won't connect to the internet despite me merely turning the damn thing on for the 1000th time and this being a new issue.
Helpful as these people are, they tend to become obsessed with these kinds of things and it gets really boring being the one who isn't involved in all the same stuff and has no idea about it all.
Then there is myself. Can use a computer. Knows a few websites worth looking at (mainly the hilarious ICanHAsCheezburger.com, the interesting Cracked.com, and the thoughtful OliviasAdulthood.blogspot.com) cannot fathom why printers have to make life so difficult, knows how to call, text, and take pictures using my mobile phone but not much else. Yet everything seems to be more technical and it's annoying. I want a 'crap phone', as said by one comedian; I don't need internet stuff or touchscreen stuff and so on. There are so many wires and cables dotted about the flat from TV stuff, computer stuff, Xbox stuff, phone stuff etc.
I just think we're getting too reliant on all this electronic amusement which is so damn fast, that as soon as we know it we're bored again. I spent a few hours each day on the laptop. Doing what? Mainly procrastinating. The time it takes me to look at all I want and enjoy it is probably only about 1 hour, yet I spend longer on it. I have access to the answers to any question but so little useful information is out there. But it's convenient. It's fast. I don't need to buy a newspaper because I can look online.
There has to be a balance.
Monday, 6 June 2011
I have a new pet!
Despite having three lizards already, last week I decided to get another one. The problem with having an exotic pet is that whenever you go anywhere like a zoo you see all the resident animals as potential future pets! When we went to the Costwold Wildlife Park a few weeks ago I saw a couple of Egyptian uromastyx (spiny-tailed lizards). I'd seen some before in a pet shop so they were familiar but one at the park were very spritely and active and even though they are really ugly they are ugly in a cute way!
Someone on Preloved.com was advertising a baby uromastyx and all the kit for it as they were moving and couldn't take it with them. After a bit of a trek with my parents on Saturday, we now have a new little lizard in our collection! The thing I can't get over is how small he actually is; at only 5ish months old he's only about 3 inches long. Turns out they grow quite slowly, and having only seen adult specimens it was hard to tell from the photo how diddy he is.
We're not sure if it's a boy or girl yet (too young and small to tell) and we haven't decided on a name for 'him' but I'm so happy with him! Since Tom picked and bought the other three, it's nice to have one which is technically my own (though obviously we both look after all of them.)
Someone on Preloved.com was advertising a baby uromastyx and all the kit for it as they were moving and couldn't take it with them. After a bit of a trek with my parents on Saturday, we now have a new little lizard in our collection! The thing I can't get over is how small he actually is; at only 5ish months old he's only about 3 inches long. Turns out they grow quite slowly, and having only seen adult specimens it was hard to tell from the photo how diddy he is.
We're not sure if it's a boy or girl yet (too young and small to tell) and we haven't decided on a name for 'him' but I'm so happy with him! Since Tom picked and bought the other three, it's nice to have one which is technically my own (though obviously we both look after all of them.)
Thursday, 2 June 2011
Easy week
So I've cheered up a bit since my last post! My birthday weekend was nice, despite a few down points. And my newly-wedded friends are back from their honeymoon so hopefully soon I shall be catching up with them and seeing how they are adapting to wedded bliss. And also if they love/ hate my present I got them!
Somehow this week the rota at work has spoiled me and I am only working 2 days! (However next week I'm on for 5 straight days but oh well) and even though I'm really not doing much it's so nice to not have to go to work!
Today I've (foolishly?) started to go through all the drawers and wardrobe in an attempt to bring some order about the place and correct Tom's last tidying session. In case you think I'm being pedantic: in one drawer I found 2 dresses, a skirt and a pair of skiing socks. So it may explain why we struggle to find items of clothing that we wear less than once a week. However as I write I'm only part-way through and I'm well aware I need to get some motivation and carry on in a few mins.
I also had a new occurence the other day: my friends threw me a surprise birthday party! It ended quite messily but was a lot of fun and I'm very touched that they did it! I've always wanted a surprise party.
Back to the clothes sorting... I never want to fold another t-shirt again.
Somehow this week the rota at work has spoiled me and I am only working 2 days! (However next week I'm on for 5 straight days but oh well) and even though I'm really not doing much it's so nice to not have to go to work!
Today I've (foolishly?) started to go through all the drawers and wardrobe in an attempt to bring some order about the place and correct Tom's last tidying session. In case you think I'm being pedantic: in one drawer I found 2 dresses, a skirt and a pair of skiing socks. So it may explain why we struggle to find items of clothing that we wear less than once a week. However as I write I'm only part-way through and I'm well aware I need to get some motivation and carry on in a few mins.
I also had a new occurence the other day: my friends threw me a surprise birthday party! It ended quite messily but was a lot of fun and I'm very touched that they did it! I've always wanted a surprise party.
Back to the clothes sorting... I never want to fold another t-shirt again.
Sunday, 22 May 2011
All gone to ruin?
Just wondering, without going into too much detail, is it pathetic to let some bad things ruin the better things?
Some people may say you can have things ruined if you let them, and therefore it's more an attitude to ignore the bad and concentrate on the good. Some find that getting the balance to fall in the better times' favour can be too delicate and thus easily tipped over into bad territory.
This weekend was big, and on approach I was filled with excitement as not only was it my birthday but also was my friends' wedding. However the other night I suddenly was struck with some sadness which had kind of came out of nowhere. My birthday has a bit of a turbulent history so around that time I'm reminded of some things, but they don't stop me enjoying myself or celebrating what it is. I think it's acceptable for a few hours of the year to remember times and get a bit upset about them, because then it's out of your system and you can carry on with things, and then also remember the better memories as the painful ones have almost been moved through and you're on the other side.
As it was, someone was a bit tactless to me about the whole thing, and I got much more upset and for longer than necessary, rather than just being allowed to have some 'sad time' (for want of a better definition) and then return to form when ready.
Anyway, back to the title point. I've obviously had a big and busy weekend; spending one day at my friends' wedding and the next with my family celebrating my birthday. It was a good time, but I'm wondering if a few things amongst it have tainted it in a more negative light than I would like. This has nothing to do with the sad memories of the past (life has very much moved on) but more making me frustrated with how things are going at the present. Am I just being overly sensitive and allowing negative things to bother me? And how can I turn that off? Do you tend to remember the bad things more clearly? Or am I almost justifiably annoyed about whatever has bothered me? Maybe a bit of both? Tough call.
Some people may say you can have things ruined if you let them, and therefore it's more an attitude to ignore the bad and concentrate on the good. Some find that getting the balance to fall in the better times' favour can be too delicate and thus easily tipped over into bad territory.
This weekend was big, and on approach I was filled with excitement as not only was it my birthday but also was my friends' wedding. However the other night I suddenly was struck with some sadness which had kind of came out of nowhere. My birthday has a bit of a turbulent history so around that time I'm reminded of some things, but they don't stop me enjoying myself or celebrating what it is. I think it's acceptable for a few hours of the year to remember times and get a bit upset about them, because then it's out of your system and you can carry on with things, and then also remember the better memories as the painful ones have almost been moved through and you're on the other side.
As it was, someone was a bit tactless to me about the whole thing, and I got much more upset and for longer than necessary, rather than just being allowed to have some 'sad time' (for want of a better definition) and then return to form when ready.
Anyway, back to the title point. I've obviously had a big and busy weekend; spending one day at my friends' wedding and the next with my family celebrating my birthday. It was a good time, but I'm wondering if a few things amongst it have tainted it in a more negative light than I would like. This has nothing to do with the sad memories of the past (life has very much moved on) but more making me frustrated with how things are going at the present. Am I just being overly sensitive and allowing negative things to bother me? And how can I turn that off? Do you tend to remember the bad things more clearly? Or am I almost justifiably annoyed about whatever has bothered me? Maybe a bit of both? Tough call.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)