*Cough cough cough*

I've had a bloody cold since the weekend before last and it just won't shift. Ugh. Tired of feeling a bit crap and my poor nose keeps bleeding from overuse!

I start my new job tomorrow, bit nervous but looking forward to it! Hopefully I'll get settled in rather quickly and also get to enjoy my holiday next week.

But until then I keep coughing away and hoping I'll feel more human again in the next few days.

Grace and Gratitude!

After that last self-pitying post things have turned around in record time with great results.

1) Interview went well. Very well. I have a new job! Will be doing admin in the same office as Tom from next week. So call off the job hunt! It's a huge relief in many ways; it's never a nice feeling to know you may be unemployed for an indefinite amount of time for one, and Tom was really bigging up this job so the more I heard, the more I wanted it.

Picture subject related, context unrelated.

2) Finished at old job yesterday. I have been looking forward to that day for so, SO long! It hit me when I was in bed last night that I actually managed to survive my time there. Many times over the last year I had to really fight with myself to not just hand in my notice, or worse, just walk out. To just focus on counting down the days and get through it was great! I spent most of my time there stressed out, talked down on, trying to use methods which made tasks harder, and demotivated by those meant to help and encourage us. Events surrounding things like Tom's operation, the infamous funeral affair [not Tom's, obviously!], and lots of occasions involving handling customers have hugely marred my time at the company and really made me resentful and unhappy. So now my time there has finished, I am never working there again, and that makes me so damn happy and grateful that God's timing has been amazing: I had the admin interview Monday, got accepted on Tuesday, and finished at my old job Weds!

I was in such a motivated mood when I got home last night that I actually got stuck into some housework and got the place looking like a flat again before Tom made dinner and we cracked open some Asti! Usually I get home, sit down, and only move to either feed myself or go to bed. Hopefully being happier will mean I have more energy.

3) Toenail is still attached! It's cracked but not infected or sore except for when I stub it against the coffee table. Only concern is that when we go on holiday to Wales in a week we'll be on the beach, and I'm considering getting a swimming sock to keep it clean. I just can't look cool.

Pain

I'm currently sitting at home feeling rather sorry for myself; about an hour ago I massively stubbed my big toe on my left foot and actually split part of the nail.

There was blood, pain, a lot of swearing. I've managed to clean it up and get most of my nail polish off to have a better look at it, but it is definitely split. I'm just hoping and praying I won't actually lose the nail.

So I've got it covered in a couple of plasters and am musing at the timing of these ridiculous incidences in my life; I have an interview at Tom's place tomorrow. And we walk everywhere. I am really not looking forward to trying to walk anywhere at all, let alone the best part of 1.5 miles in smart shoes. So we might need to get the bus...

Pain in various forms seems to be a theme in recent times here. My IBS has been playing up again recently, with fibre seeming to be a large culprit. Having a sore tummy all day is never fun.

But at the same time I could have it much worse: my knee injury some years ago was probably the most extreme pain I've had. My eczema is so much better than before when my hands would split open and be red raw.

So throbbing toe and achy stomach may be the worst of the moment. Let's hope I don't do anything stupid soon.

Dammit Technology

I've had enough with computers this week. After several computer issues at work (including a monitor with the screen upside down - how the hell??!!) and an entertaining session where the computer refused to work after IT 'fixed' it and then the monitor itself died at the same time, you'd understand that I may have had enough of them recently. However tonight I attempted to be all clever and try and do stuff to this blog.

As you may have noticed I succeeded in changing the background.

I also tweaked some of the font colours too but only because by fiddling with the background they somehow got a bit harder to see. Why? No idea.

What I would like to try and do is copy a certain Melissa Low (woohoo figured out how to link!) who has a very snazzy "Ask Me" box on the side of her blog.

I am nowhere near as popular or under any illusions of that, but think it would be a nice thing to have.

If any remotely capable person can explain how to do this (or come to Cheltenham and do it for me?) I'd be grateful!

Cheers y'all.

How do you look?

Now we have another female around there is a more considered approach about appearance in the house.

Ok, that's rubbish. We tease Jo for having hairbrushes everywhere and fretting about everything from eyebrows, hair colour and wrinkles (she's 24). But it shows how in this society emphasis is so heavily placed on appearance, almost over everything else. Even a strong woman like Jo finds herself under pressure to have a certain standard of appearance.

Me? I'm a slob.

This wasn't exactly a posed picture

Ok so maybe not a total slob but I have a few ways of wearing my hair: tied up or down. Straightening is for special occasions and I can't do anything more adventurous than that by myself. I tend to wear a bit of make up at work to help look more awake, but I certainly can't be bothered with wearing it on a daily basis. 

In part this is Tom's influence of not caring too much about others' opinions, especially if you don't think they matter really. And as he loves me how I am, that's good enough for me.

Don't get me wrong, it is nice to make an effort and dress up now and again, but if you do it all the time I think you get a bit obsessed with your appearance. It's easy to forget how to be natural and relax. Also, if you look like that all the time how can you look better on a special occasion? 

I give up...

I can't wait

... to leave my job!

Still obviously looking for work which is a long and ongoing process if any past experiences amongst us and our friends has anything to go by. But only a few weeks left now (which can't come quickly enough!)

I'm really going to miss my team, and I feel sorry for those stuck there until there are more staff. And specifically more trained staff who can actually do the job because there is a lot to learn and being new sucks. It took me ages to feel confident enough to do things without getting stuff double checked, and I already had a background in the field. So God help and guide any new starters - they will need it!

So what now? I had an interview with a hotel for a receptionist position and have an interview next week for a jewellers. Just have to see what comes up.

IBS - 1, Olivia - 0

My poor body hasn't had much fun recently; constantly tired, tummy aches, poor appetite.

I'm off work today yet again, and for another pathetic reason which sounds so small but feels awful. We've come to the conclusion that somewhere in the past year or so I seemed to have developed irritable bowel syndrome, probably as a result of stress, and now things such as eating and nausea have become a major problem in the last 12 months or so.

It's one of these frustrating things that my mental state and physical state are so entwined together that they have to both be working and co-operating for me to get by each day. Also as there is no known thing that necessarily sets off any symptoms (mainly stress, and I'm usually at least a little stressed!) it means that I can feel any way at any time without knowing how things will effect me. Which stresses me more. Ahhh!

Anyway, in an effort to save some money and to try and eat a bit more healthily, we've been trying to cut back on meat, much to the disgust and horror of Tom who is a pure carnivore. So whilst trying to stretch what we have over the week for the three of us (and remember we don't have a freezer so it's all fresh so has to be eaten quickly) last night I cooked a nice if interesting dinner: sausages in tomato sauce with roasted root veg. I needed to use up all the parsnips, carrots and potatoes, and added cooked sausages to the standard tomato sauce I make (garlic, onions, chilli and sieved tomatoes, then herbs as desired) and it all worked nicely.

However I had also eaten some dried apricots and had a dessert of banana with strawberry yoghurt. Maybe that was the overkill...

Either way for the past 14 hours I have needed to stay within proximity of the bathroom and am a bit apprehensive about eating anything lest it aggravate things further. Decided to call in sick because although I usually feel a bit rubbish these days this was different and I really didn't want to risk anything or go the entire day at work without eating.

So I'm stuck at home, trying to do a bit of housework to keep me occupied and keep my fluids topped up. Also had to clean out Rusty which was horrific because it made me want to hurl everywhere but I survived without anything eventful.

So even if I eat things which in theory should help me and make me healthier and generally better, it doesn't work! Grrr...

Time with family, work and a caravan

Not posted since my sister's wedding, so here's a rundown of June to date...

I had a week off which I spent back in Cheltenham mainly resting and cleaning (flat is still not exactly a palace, but, meh) and we returned with my parents on Friday to spend a bit more time with the family. Spent Friday evening with the newly-wed Mr and Mrs Barrett with curry and the England game. Still don't like football but it's entertaining to watch how often the players fall over.

Saturday it was just us and the parents and a day at Warwick Castle which Tom loved. Got fed up quickly when Tom tried to argue about whether all of the armour was accurate - seeing as he knows so much about SAXON equipment he therefore has become an annoying authority on all things historical. I wussed out of going up the towers because they were high and tight so instead mainly stood around in the rain on the mound waving to Tom across the castle. But we did get to see the trebuchet in action which was pretty cool!

If you zoom right in you might be able to see that white dot at the bottom of the mound - that's me!

After warming up at my parents' we had a big family meal in a nearby pub to appease everyone's fussy palettes.

Sunday we were heading back but Tom and Dad squeezed in a spot of archery in the back garden beforehand. Got to say goodbye to my uncle and grandfather before they returned to the States a few days later. I hope they enjoyed all the time over.

I've not been feeling too sociable or chirpy lately so having to be around so much family on these occasions was a bit of a struggle, but we got through everything and I don't think I ruined anyone's trip this time!

Anyway, back at home and I took some action and have finally given my notice at work. Can't tell you how good that felt! I'll be leaving near the end of July, and Tom and I will be on holiday in August for a few days in Wales (with most of the Barratt crew). I've had more grief than positivity during my time at work so it will be a huge relief to be able to leave that place behind me. Only slight concern is that I don't yet have a job to go to, so I've had to step up my job hunting.

Even though I now have the end in sight of work, frustratingly I'm still not suddenly magically feeling physically amazing - still very tired and sick a lot of the time. I guess it's a slog getting back to health when you have felt drained for so long, and hope there is nothing more going on.

And the only other thing worth mentioning is that Tom's mother and step-father have bought a caravan, which could prove interesting...!

Wedding (in brief)

Wedding was wonderful; the ceremony was short and sweet (just how I like them!) with a reading each from Chris' dad and our mum.

The meal was lovely and the speeches were short and sweet and meaningful.

The dresses were pretty and the flower girls had a brilliant time.

That night at the party there was a fantastic band who played covers of popular songs and really got the mood going - they even made a girls vs boys air guitar play-off with the wedding party which was tear-jerkingly hilarious!

And my father was drunk and my mother had her first drink since 1998 (as she kept pointing out) though no one in our house was hungover the next day - apparently!

And Tom's highlight was of course the hog roast...

Nearly there! And a history of life.

My sister's wedding is tomorrow and I'm so excited! I'm also so grateful not to be involved in organising anything but ourselves - and even that is a bit of a stretch as we're having to go down with Jo tonight instead of arriving a day early like we'd originally hoped.

My poor sister is trying to get all loose ends sorted so she can enjoy their day but at this moment I think my grandfather (from USA) is still getting here/ stranded across the pond due to bad weather, and so may only get here in the nick of time. Also there was a bit of drama with getting the music and chair covers sorted but I think that's mostly OK now.

I'm sure on the day she won't have to worry, and that it will be the best day of her life regardless.

So even today I have things I need to get (like waterproof mascara - just in case!) and organise having a few days at home. Sadly Tom only has the weekend free so I may be staying with the parents for a few extra days without him.

Anyway, in other news: I'm still reading A Short History Of Nearly Everything by Bill Bryson, and I'm now at the section where it explains about different eons and periods of life in the Earth's history. It's very interesting to be reading this as a Christian too, and I'm fairly sure Bryson isn't, but one thing he does well in his works is not to be too biased. All he has done in this scientific book (he's usually a travel writer but has branched out into a few other areas over the last few years) is present the arguments and evidence for what we have found out. Nothing in it goes against the notion of God (so far, I haven't finished it yet!)

What I find fascinating is that we are trying so hard to discover so much and the planet we're on is so much bigger and so much older than we can begin to comprehend in our minds. And to me it is seeing how we humans are starting to piece together how God has made this place we live in, and what came before us. Obviously scientists may argue that it is just the natural process of the chain of life we stemmed from happened to end up with us, but that in itself does not mean there is not additional dimension from a deity.

Lost in wonder...