Wedding decisions...

Just as we start making progress and make decisions and have ideas and get all excited, other things pop along for us to think about. Dear me, how did people used to get married before it became all expensive and showy? (Ok, I know it's always been showy to the rich classes but when did Joe and Jenny Bloggs have these delusions?)

We're viewing a church on the morrow (keeping it a secret!) and we've been looking at ideas for rings. This has sparked a debate: we're poor. Do we spend a huge amount of money on a ring each, the symbol of our marriage and devotion etc and struggle with costs, or just buy cheaper rings? My current idea is to get cheapish ones which we like, and as they get banged up or knackered throughout life - or realistically we may outgrow them as we age and get fatter - and when we have more money and chubbier digits we upgrade them. Always keeping the originals somewhere, of course.

I don't care if they look vintage, I think cluster rings are hideous.

It's just amazing how much a band of fancy metal can cost. Don't get me wrong, there are some gorgeous items out there, but I cannot justify having what is essentially a ceremony, a party, a dress and suit and some bling all for a ridiculous amount of money.

This is actually pretty cool...

Another thing which has reared its ugly head(s) are my bridesmaids. I have five, which deviated from the original plan of having none at all. They are spread around a bit and some haven't even met each other yet. I have no idea whether they'll all get on or not, nor does it bother me because they're all mature enough to BEHAVE themselves regardless.

But we need to start thinking about what they will be wearing, and what suits them and what they like and who will and won't wear whatever... I have come up with a brilliant idea to solve my part of stress and responsibility: Lock all five of them in a room and let them either 1) figure it out diplomatically, or 2) kill each other and let the victorious winner get whatever she wants.

Being an educated snob

My new job is going well so far. Though it is mainly data entry and I'm still learning as I go it is doing me good being in a new job and out of the old one.

Apart from working I have been ploughing through the Game of Thrones books (now onto the fourth, or the second part of the third book if you're feeling pedantic) and am impatiently waiting for the TV series to catch up and be released in the UK. I like the rich elements of story with the characters, and also there are dragons!

The funny thing is I have grown to assume everyone reads or has interests in the world etc. and I forget that's not the case. Whenever I meet new people and find they have a devotion to things I cannot begin to care about I end up finding it a bit strange - football, sex, drinking fifteen pints in one night etc. I can't help but wonder when I sit there and try and explain that I like reading and current affairs and socialism and ethics, not interested in going out much because it gets tedious... do I come across as a snob?

Like does tend to attract like, so we end up surrounding ourselves with people who revolve around similar things, so I can find it a bit difficult when we have to face other individuals who are so different in their views and lifestyles. It can make us uncomfortable and awkward. 

Not sure what the answer is. Patience, tolerance, acceptance seem the likely candidates though.

TGIF and TG in general: work and some religion.

Most of my posts have been rather short recently. I'm growing lazy. So here's some more words:

Life: So far I have completed my first full week in new job, and actually have a weekend! This is going to take come getting used to; the last time I had a Mon-Fri job was 2 years ago and I hated it. I loved Fri evening and Sat but dreaded Sun because it meant I had to go back to work the next day, and work was an absolute stress-depression misery hole. So let's hope things will be much better this time around! Actually, another counter-argument to the Mon-Fri anxiety is that I hated my last job which was always included working at least Sat. Hell, we may even get time for trips and things. Wow.

The new job is going well. It's not exactly the dream career or most exciting thing in the world but that's fine by me! I just need somewhere I can get on and feel comfortable so I can heal a bit and feel more like me again. I'm learning a lot as I go and the thing at this stage is that you can easily compare your abilities over the past few days and see where you've got faster and more accurate. And so far I haven't upset anyone which is always a bonus!

We had a bit of a domestic problem at home which highlighted the pain of renting through an agency this week - the washing machine decided to die so we were stuck with piles of post-holiday laundry and no clean towels for a few days. A few arsey phone calls from Tom later and things were fixed, praise the Lord; I've never been so happy to have a functioning appliance! Before things were solved I'd resorted to buying a new set of pants (just in case I ran out) and a couple of new towels so I had something dry and clean(ish) to use. I know you are advised to wash towels before you use them and I can personally testify why - after using my new Wilkinsons black bath towel I was covered in dark fuzz. I looked like the hairy old man we saw on the beach in Abersoch.

This isn't him though his cross be bangin'.

So I look forward to a fluff-free washing experience in the next day or two. Simple joys etc.

Anyway, a theological debate raged in the flat this week too. (As did the bitching at each other for being messy/ rude/ stupid/ passive-aggressive but we'll leave that well alone.) I was trying to see if Tom could see any positivity to religion/ belief even as an atheist. The short answer was no, as simply he cannot believe in anything they believe in so cannot see their advantages because they believe in something that is not true. In his words "I'm right and they are wrong." I can't say I share or appreciate this statement but in Tom's eyes if you do not have his exact attitude (no God, no afterlife, no supernatural etc, only what we can see is real) then though he can appreciate you as a person, he cannot see any benefit to your beliefs, regardless of what they are.

This massively saddens me, because even if I did not share or even agree with someone's beliefs or stance on something, I would try to see what it was that attracted them to it and understand what they gain from it. In this world of 'choice' between ideas and ideology, a pick-and-mix attitude of whatever suits you, the idea that someone would believe in something requiring some faith would make sense to us to wonder what compelled them to it and the effect it has. 

For someone to dismiss any facets or details of something purely because they cannot ever fully share the full idea of it seems not only negative, but unhelpful. It can also arguably be rude, in that to cut someone off before they can allow you to know why they think a certain way because you feel you are already right in yourself and therefore the other person is wrong isn't fair.

Not sure why I'm flogging this dead horse of an argument. I guess I just want someone else to have a more open mind, regardless of their beliefs.

Also I'm now on the third book in the Game Of Thrones series. They are pretty good!

We're back!

Never want to go on a train again but I know I will. Anyway, holiday was amazing! We had such a wonderful time and really enjoyed ourselves.

Last Sat we got up to get a train from Chelt to Birmingham, then from Brum to Pwllheli. Turned out the train was crosscountry and went through every miserable little village and hamlet in the northwest of Wales. It took about 4 hours and 20-odd stops until we got to the end of the line to the town.

We were staying in a rented house in a village called Llanbedrog on the coast.

And spent our days going to the local stony beach, travelling to Pwllheli and Abersoch for the less stony beaches, and around the local areas having fun.

One afternoon we managed to squeeze in go karting, archery, bowling (I lost) and the boys had a quick game of pool (Tom lost) and had a nice curry that evening. Another day we went paintballing and boy did that bloody hurt! I have bruises all down my legs and Tom is sporting a huge one on his shoulder.

Lots of pub trips, lots of beach fun and babysitting Tom's new nephew! Another long train journey home again but we're back in Cheltenham.

Holiday!

We're off to Wales tomorrow for a week; first holiday in 6 years for me! We will be staying in a guest house near Pwllheli (in the far north) with about forty of Tom's family members.

See you on a week!