In my little life I have gone through a few big changes in circumstances over the years. The obvious ones are moving through school to sixth form, to uni, to graduating. In this I've been in different places and, in the case of university, lived in a different town altogether.
What of the things we leave behind? [sidenote - I have really learned that your family are for life, what a miracle!]
My big regret is that during the early part of uni I did not take greater care to keep in touch with people back home. At the beginning I was a dreadful bore everytime I went back; I was all about uni and my life there. It was mostly the same for everyone who had gone the same direction (what a fascinating bunch new students must be) so trying to keep up with a place you aren't constantly being saturated in can be a struggle. I'm not excusing it but my halls of residence didn't have internet for 9 out of the 10 months, so social networks, blogs, etc were used less.
However that annoying phase of "centre of the universe-ity" did end and I tried to get back in touch with some of the friends from back home. Of course people don't tend to pause their lives waiting for you so things had changed and a few were in different places and, perhaps, not as contactable. I'd like to think any messages of mine that I never reciprocated were the result of a lapse of concentration, changing phone numbers, etc, not being shoved at the back of a mental friend-priority pile where I'd worn myself to the edge of their radar.
With the internet you can see when someone has been in touch, for example a Facebook wall post. If you can see it, then it's there, and so can everyone else. With that ease, why not bother to reply? Especially when the rest of your activities are available to see so you can't use the excuse of missing the message or not being online recently.
Now I am seeing some of the individuals who were arguably quite close to me before I left have another life. I have not been there to see all of their changes, to know what has been going on and to develop our relationships. I do have friends here, some great friends, but seeing as a lot were from uni and themselves have moved on with their lives too, it would be nice to think that I can again have some passionate, close, loving friends like I used to.
I sound ungrateful - I'm not. Individuals are individuals, but I guess I miss having the access to a group with a connection in the way I felt it as a teenager. What is missing from the present, I'm not sure. Likewise, maybe I just need to try a bit harder with the people around me now so I don't end up missing them in the same way.
And also I'm sure I'll have many new friends to meet in the future. I hope.
Saturday 20 August 2011
Wednesday 17 August 2011
Just for Mel (and anyone else...)
Thought I'd show you a pic of my monsters:
Tiny Douglas!
Currently the little dude is asleep in his tank under a bit of wood, and the big one is wedged in between me and the end of the sofa also asleep. Aww, content babies...!
/annoying motherly-reptile post.
This is Rusty along one of my arms, how is that not cute?!
Ok, how about this:
Currently the little dude is asleep in his tank under a bit of wood, and the big one is wedged in between me and the end of the sofa also asleep. Aww, content babies...!
/annoying motherly-reptile post.
Sunday 14 August 2011
What can you live with?
What can you put up with not being perfect in your life? And what must you have been as good as it possibly can? Where will you make the sacrifice? I'd been thinking about this recently and ended up discussing it with a college at work today.
For example: you might be able to put up with a mediocre job, but only be happy if you live in a house instead of a flat.
Another: you might not mind dating and being single (against being in a relationship) but spend as much free time and energy on a particular hobby, like a sport.
The reason I am thinking this is because I'm evaluating what I prioritise over what in life. I have lived in absolute dumps (sorry uni house!) and I am not a neat person. My flat is where I live but I'm not very materialistic. The place is untidy and has no room for ornaments or decoration. Everything here is functional or usable; furniture, books, computer, all the kitchen stuff, lizard tanks. I can deal with not having a perfect home - it doesn't bother me too much.
However there will be other areas where I will be picky and demanding. Maybe not outwardly so, but I have a growing awareness of things I want to change, even if they are not permanent, for the slightly better. As there are those who will go giddy over colour schemes, picture frames, furnishings etc, and will also spend a huge amount of time and effort maintaining them, I can let that slide. But I will be more easily bothered by other parts of my everyday life which I shall work to change.
For example: you might be able to put up with a mediocre job, but only be happy if you live in a house instead of a flat.
Another: you might not mind dating and being single (against being in a relationship) but spend as much free time and energy on a particular hobby, like a sport.
I've also learned how to add pictures! Go me!
The reason I am thinking this is because I'm evaluating what I prioritise over what in life. I have lived in absolute dumps (sorry uni house!) and I am not a neat person. My flat is where I live but I'm not very materialistic. The place is untidy and has no room for ornaments or decoration. Everything here is functional or usable; furniture, books, computer, all the kitchen stuff, lizard tanks. I can deal with not having a perfect home - it doesn't bother me too much.
However there will be other areas where I will be picky and demanding. Maybe not outwardly so, but I have a growing awareness of things I want to change, even if they are not permanent, for the slightly better. As there are those who will go giddy over colour schemes, picture frames, furnishings etc, and will also spend a huge amount of time and effort maintaining them, I can let that slide. But I will be more easily bothered by other parts of my everyday life which I shall work to change.
An example of a home by someone who actually has time for it...
Not being too materialistic is a good thing in my opinion. If something breaks, it's broken. It might be annoying but it's not really the end of the world. The things I treasure the most are living things, memories and experiences; things you can't really buy or knock over. Sofas are for sitting on, tables for putting things down on, candles for lighting. Nuts to materialism.
Mind you, I lost my DVD of A Clockwork Orange a while ago and it annoys me slightly that I may eventually have to buy a replacement.
Friday 5 August 2011
Ugghh...
Today I feel dreadful. I'm not unused to feeling a little rough once in a while, even though that doesn't cushion the blow at all. But today I am having to face up to a decision to speak to a doctor about letting me take medicine every day to try and help with a few days of horror.
I've resisted this for the past year or so in the hope that 1) things might start to get better without the aid of too many interfering drugs, and 2) trying to justify taking meds every day for a problem that ruins 2 days out of 30.
However I'm getting sick of ignoring it. I will have to deal with any consequences sensibly and make use of the medical help I can get in this country. To anyone who is ill or in any kind of discomfort, I have sympathy! So much sympathy. As personal comfort and health is such a relative thing, it can be easy for people to lack any kind of empathy if how they are effected by things is not the same as yourself; you're "making a big deal" to them. How unfair.
Anyway, I've finally got myself comfortable on the sofa (thank God I'm not back at work until Monday) and am reluctant to move too much as it took me about an hour and lots of tablets to get here! At least I don't have to do anything too strenuous for the next few days.
But I do want to make a cake later.
I've resisted this for the past year or so in the hope that 1) things might start to get better without the aid of too many interfering drugs, and 2) trying to justify taking meds every day for a problem that ruins 2 days out of 30.
However I'm getting sick of ignoring it. I will have to deal with any consequences sensibly and make use of the medical help I can get in this country. To anyone who is ill or in any kind of discomfort, I have sympathy! So much sympathy. As personal comfort and health is such a relative thing, it can be easy for people to lack any kind of empathy if how they are effected by things is not the same as yourself; you're "making a big deal" to them. How unfair.
Anyway, I've finally got myself comfortable on the sofa (thank God I'm not back at work until Monday) and am reluctant to move too much as it took me about an hour and lots of tablets to get here! At least I don't have to do anything too strenuous for the next few days.
But I do want to make a cake later.
Thursday 4 August 2011
Goodbye to geckos
Yesterday I took our leopard geckos Sonny and Luna to a reptile shop in Gloucester. It was a hard decision but we'd eventually decided we wanted to get them a new home.
They aren't exactly the hardest pets in the world, but because they are quite basic in terms of intelligence and instinct they will never love attention and interacting like, for example, a dog or cat does. We'd 'tamed' them to tolerate being handled as much as we could so they would allow us to touch them without biting us (most of the time!) but it still stressed them slightly.
Also, as we'd accidentally put a male and female together they have become a breeding pair and now Sonny lays eggs every few weeks. We simply don't have the equipment or space to be able to incubate and hatch any eggs, then there's the hassle of selling the babies (who naturally have foul tempers and get stressed easily).
So we made the hard decision to see if someone would take them off our hands and offer them a better life. We certainly weren't neglecting them or anything horrible, we just think a more experienced breeder might be able to make better use of them, and they could add another female to the group and use Luna's albino colouring for mating and mixing certain colours and patterns.
As I mentioned, they aren't too intelligent or emotional (even as mates they still have no regard for the other and will literally walk all over them) so I don't think they are missing us, just getting used to a new location for the time being. The shop looked fantastic and they will keep them together and hatch some of their babies, so we're happy we've done the right thing.
Let this be a lesson to really think about the consequences before obtaining life of any kind.
On a happier note, we still have Rusty the bearded dragon and Douglas the uromastyx at home. At this present moment Rusty is wondering about the living room floor exploring/ looking for trouble. He seems quite content, which is all that matters when it comes to these little guys.
They aren't exactly the hardest pets in the world, but because they are quite basic in terms of intelligence and instinct they will never love attention and interacting like, for example, a dog or cat does. We'd 'tamed' them to tolerate being handled as much as we could so they would allow us to touch them without biting us (most of the time!) but it still stressed them slightly.
Also, as we'd accidentally put a male and female together they have become a breeding pair and now Sonny lays eggs every few weeks. We simply don't have the equipment or space to be able to incubate and hatch any eggs, then there's the hassle of selling the babies (who naturally have foul tempers and get stressed easily).
So we made the hard decision to see if someone would take them off our hands and offer them a better life. We certainly weren't neglecting them or anything horrible, we just think a more experienced breeder might be able to make better use of them, and they could add another female to the group and use Luna's albino colouring for mating and mixing certain colours and patterns.
As I mentioned, they aren't too intelligent or emotional (even as mates they still have no regard for the other and will literally walk all over them) so I don't think they are missing us, just getting used to a new location for the time being. The shop looked fantastic and they will keep them together and hatch some of their babies, so we're happy we've done the right thing.
Let this be a lesson to really think about the consequences before obtaining life of any kind.
On a happier note, we still have Rusty the bearded dragon and Douglas the uromastyx at home. At this present moment Rusty is wondering about the living room floor exploring/ looking for trouble. He seems quite content, which is all that matters when it comes to these little guys.
Monday 1 August 2011
Busy recently!
Just a quick update; Last weekend Tom's dad got married so we went up to Blackpool for the ceremony and it was a lovely day! Spent a few days up there with Tom's family, then for the rest of the week we returned to Oxford to see my family and spend some time down there. I forget how much I hate Oxford City.
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