Resting Time

I have had some time off recently - mostly over our birthdays but also in lieu for working a bank holiday next week (boo!) and I feel I've needed most of this time to just rest and try to relax - something I have found rather difficult recently in life.

It may seem a bit like wasting time, but I've felt recently that trying to do things just for the sake of it when you really don't want to is equally a waste of time. And by that I mean things like going out shopping when you don't want/ need anything and have no money. So today I have spent my time in my pit (aka my seat on the sofa) and job hunted with a live feed of footage from Springwatch on the TV. And I didn't even bother getting dressed as I have no plans to leave the flat - even the weather has gone rather dark and colder after the blaze of summer we've had recently.

Of course this means that a man sent by my agency to look at the boiler turned up unexpectedly.

"Hi there."

Ah well, it's my flat. If I want to sit around all day in my PJs eating biscuits then I can. Though apparently I may occasionally get an audience!

Another reason for lounging about instead of trekking off for no reason is that with my appetite being poorer in recent times I don't always eat as much as I should - a lot of the time eating makes me feel very queasy. So until that settles down a bit more I am more aware of the stresses of trying to eat outside my comfort zone, which is mostly at home, and as I walk everywhere I don't want to overdo things too much and end up having walked 2 miles for no reason and not eat because I feel more sick than usual. Not much fun.

It's been nice to be able to have time guilt-free to just sit at home and pick up a book [A Short History Of Nearly Everything by Bill Bryson at the moment] and let my mind work on something other than worrying/ depression and not be stressed out. That approach doesn't always work, but it's still lovely to have some actual peace now and then.