Maybe I'm just a very sensitive individual, or maybe it's because I have already experienced my (un)fair share of sadness in my life, but I'm still shattered about Douglas. I know things will get better and each day things get a little easier, but that dark cloud of misery is still hanging over everything.
Strange how such a small life makes so much of an impact on the bigger things around it.
I think the hardest thing for anyone who has lost someone is the fact the most recent memories of them will be the painful - their death, the circumstances surrounding it, illness and suffering, responsibility and blame... And you have to really push yourself to remember the good things about them, the good memories - their personality, their voice, anecdotes, things they liked...
In my mind somewhere is a list of names under a heading reading 'DEAD' which is only going to get longer. I just hope it's a long time until anyone else is added to it.
No comments:
Post a Comment