Too exhausted to start a fight?

A recurring theme in my life in the past few years is "putting up with crap". Though I guess that's familiar to many. In my case the theme seems to recur with having to live or work or just have individuals around you who are making the time a chore.

I hesitate to bring this up but hell, it's my damn blog. I want to vent.

When I was at uni I lived in a house with three other girls. A couple of years earlier I would have defined that situation as a nightmare, but we ended up in it regardless. The first few months were fun where we all got along, even with the quieter girl mainly keeping to herself. However, things changed. I think the catalyst was during a break for the Easter holidays the girl I later had an issue with (not the quiet one!) had a sudden break up with her boyfriend back home, and whilst I stayed in Cheltenham and suddenly started dating Tom. From that point she got more distant and cold towards me even though I didn't do anything to her. The next year was a pain living there, and whenever I moaned about the situation to anyone they recommended I try talking to her, and I would have done if I had thought it would have made any difference. Tricky though; she wasn't actually doing anything 'wrong' so trying to explain to someone that just the way they are is a problem. So I just got on with it as best as possible until I got to move out.

I wonder though, if I am the kind of person who deliberately avoids conflicts for the sake of keeping the peace? When does it become a problem to allow the equilibrium to be disturbed? 

In situations where there is a balance of power or status is it easier to help in these situations? After all, at work you can report to your manager and try to get a professional approach to ease things. But that doesn't always work - people are human and don't take criticism well, so imagine being stuck at work with someone who has complained about you. And imagine having tried to raise a complaint about an individual to then find it made things worse?

Another gripe I may voice is when you feel a friend has wronged you in some way. How do you gently approach a friend who may not be even vaguely aware that you feel they did something to hurt you? [I realise as I type this that although the entire world won't be reading this, those who do may wonder if it's directed at them. I can only assume who you are from those who have left comments. Either way, no comment from me! that would be unfair I guess. Hmm.] 

I feel I've had friends who aren't too considerate about other people's feelings, whether intentionally or not, and felt hurt and let down by them. Those who don't keep in touch with you but make an effort with others. Those who talk about occasions or events but never invite you. Those who have moved on and made new friends but forgotten about you.

People are hard work.