Today I had to go to the dentist.
Despite years of braces and taking good care of them, I hate having things done to my teeth.
It turns out that there is a small cavity that will need to be sealed up/ filled ASAP so now, joy of joys, I have to go back for some treatment.
The day has not been the best: I became a bit snappy trying to process this news and not burst into tears about it and as a result had a falling out with my mother for a few hours. Just like being a teenager again.
I am totally grateful for all the privileges in my life, such as in this case to have such caring parents and to have access to a dentist because without either of them I'd be stuck. But because my mum didn't realise how upset I was about my teeth she pushed me too far with questions then ended up all offended when I wasn't too nice to her. We calmed down later and sorted things out but it was all a bit crap.
Back home now feeling rather deflated about everything. I think one of the main reasons the cavity upset me so much is the dentist explained eating between meals (and eating anything sugary) will exacerbate the problem. With all the stress I am still trying to cope with my diet and eating habits have gone haywire. One thing to help your digestion is to eat 'little and often' which I try and do during the day. I also struggle to eat much of anything but as I am more partial to sweet things I will take something like a pastry for breakfast rather than have nothing at all. So I was frustrated to find out what was progress in one area was becoming partly detrimental in another.
I simply cannot cope with everything. I need to work but I need to not be stressed all the time. I need to fuel my body but my appetite and digestive system do not always appreciate that. I need to look after my teeth but cannot cut out the few remaining things I seem to be alright eating. I need to have a life but I've got no energy to live it. And there's no RESET button in life; you have to try and change things as you go through them instead of just wiping away all the bad stuff and starting again. Change is hard. Improvement does not always follow when you hope it will.
God help me.
3 comments:
(((hug)))
Well you could always eat like veryone else, clean your teeth like everyone else and do a 9-5 job like everyone else does day in day out. :-) some times life isnt as bad as you think. A job is a job and some of us dont have that!!!!
I didn't realise I was going to have to start moderating comments. Really? If you don't like my blog, don't read it. Go waste your time elsewhere.
And to Anonymous - I am trying my best with regards to diet/ stress. I do have a full-time job which is actually more hours than 9-5 and I do clean and look after my teeth, which is one of the reasons I was a bit gutted to hear despite my efforts there has been erosion (whether directly my fault or not, it is natural).
Believe me I know not everyone has work who needs it but the consequence in workplaces is that employers then can stretch things in their companies to just within breaking point with the workers knowing if they leave they may be unemployed for months/ years. I could well turn around and say anyone who is unemployed should try harder to get work as there are thousands of jobs out there, but I don't think that's fair.
Either way I'd appreciate less criticism and more constructive comments. It would also be nice to have people leave their names rather than just have the Anonymous profile if they are going to bother to leave comments.
Post a Comment